After another silent breakfast at the convent, Camarade picked me up for our second day of training. We began by “checking in” with each other, something they are not yet used to doing as their culture teaches them to hold their feelings inside of them, not unlike the Rwandans.
Blindfolded Star
I officially opened the day’s training with one of my favorite exercises: The Blindfolded Star. (I usually do this outside in a large space, but the ground outside the training room was dangerously peppered with lava rocks and stones. I knew if I was blindfolded, I’d soon find myself scraping my hands and knees in the cinders so we did this exercise within the confines of the training room.)
I asked everyone to stand up and gather around to watch me take two large rope circles and lay them on the floor, overlapping them in two intersecting triangles, to form a six-pointed star. I asked if anyone thought they could do this and they all said they thought they could. I asked them how many of them would describe themselves as being collaborative.
Once again, they all raised their hands. So I divided them into two groups, made certain that the first group understood that their task was to repeat what I had made on the floor, and then added an additional requirement: 
they had to do this task blindfolded! After tying on all the blindfolds, I handed the two pieces of rope to two different participants and told them to begin the exercise. As always, it was hilarious to see the various members of the group trying to coordinate with each other enough to even 
approximate the shape I had made. And, as always, there were people who actively tried to 
maneuver by themselves with no coordination with others, some who stood completely immobile, and still others who used some of the senses they had left – hearing/speaking and touch, in particular – to try to complete their assigned task. Needless to say, the first group didn’t come close to forming a star.
The follow-up discussion centered on what was missing – a leader! – and on how difficult it had been to function without someone directing their efforts. When the second group tried it, several people stepped forward to assume leadership and their “star” was much more complete.
As I had done last year with the Rwandan group, I explained that there had been a study by one of our leading foundations in the United States (the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation) that identified a number of critical skills and capacities that collaborative leaders needed to have:
They are:
1. Assessing the environment for collaboration (understanding the context for change before you act)
2. Creating clarity -- visioning and mobilizing (defining shared values and engaging people in positive action)
3. Building trust and creating safety (creating safe places for developing shared purpose and action, especially important in this region of the world)
4. Sharing power and influence (developing the synergy of people, organizations and communities to accomplish common goals)
5. Developing people (mentoring and coaching; committing to bringing out the best in others and realizing people are your key assets)
6. Self-reflection (being aware of and understanding your values, attitudes and behaviors as they relate to your own leadership style and their impact on others.
Each of these elements, I explained, is key to the collaborative process. They are not mutually exclusive but support each other and provide a comprehensive picture of the essential skills of a collaborative leader.
So, I said, here’s the real question:
Do you want to establish your interfaith group as empire (dividing and conquering), or as community (coming together and sharing)? Again, the question came down to power over, or power with.
They all agreed that the history of their country had evolved through the former...and not very well, either…and that power with was their best course.
A Lunch Break
During lunch, I ventured out back again to say hello to the cooks (and the baby that had been sleeping on the back of one of the
women the day before but this day was just finishing up a rice meal), and realized that the small space was doubling as a sewing school for area women. 
Like many parts of the Great Lakes Region, there are countless widows and women who, for one reason or another, need to be the primary income earners (if at all possible) for their families. This group of women was being taught to sew through a cooperative started by Immaculee,
one of my workshop participants, and the class was in full swing with ancient hand-wheeled Singer sewing machines. 
Since many of the garments worn by these Africans are made by hand rather than mass-produced (especially for the women who still, for the most part, wear traditional dress) sewing is as good a potential source of income as any for these women.
The Training Continues
The day proceeded as before – pause café, more exercises, discussions,
small group work,
slowing down as the room got hotter and hotter. There was a slight breeze that rattled one of the large sheets of paper on the wall, and before I could tear off another piece of tape to anchor the paper to the wall more securely, someone got up and shut the windows! Aaaccck! Luckily, it was just hot, not hot and humid.
Despite the heat, we covered coalition building, diversity issues, turfism and conflict. During lunch I had laid out a model of my violence pyramid model on the floor with tape and that lesson following lunch, I believe, had more impact on the group than any of them. The premise is that conflict and violence (or any social problem) is like an iceberg.
(Despite living near the equator, they all recognized this picture of an iceberg!) Only the tip of the iceberg shows above the water. Similarly, only the action component of the problem (in the case of violence and conflict that would be rapes, murders, fighting, etc.) showed. Bu
t what creates and supports those actions are the structural and cultural causes of violence and conflict. Another way to describe this, I explained, is to think of an earthquake – the earthquake is the action, or direct “violence;” the movement of
the tectonic plates is the structural piece, and the fault line on which the tectonic plates sit is the real origin of the earthquake.
Further, when people are stuck in the “tip of the iceberg,” their only responses are one of the three “F’s” – fight, flight or freeze. I demonstrated this by asking for 4 volunteers to first step into the largest part of the pyramid, and then moved them up through the middle section to the tip. Naturally, they wanted to push the others aside to give themselves more room, or to leave the section altogether. We talked a lot about the ramifications of this model and how they could use it in their work, both as individuals and as a group. I think this is when the light really came on for this cohort.
Another Excursion After Work
Zawadi, Innocent and Camarade wanted to take me to see the refugee camps after work, but before we could get out the door we were met by a family from the camps who came to beg for money.
Zawadi told me that this is not an unusual occurrence. Each family gets a monthly ration of food – beans, rice, that sort of thing – but the food runs out way before the month does, 
even with careful planning on the family’s part. With no source of income inside the camps, many families leave for the day and walk the miles into Goma to see what they can either forage or beg. I gave them some money for which they were very grateful and talked with them for a little bit. This family consisted of a grandmother, a young girl, and a mother with a nursing baby and another on her back. I was especially sad when I realized that the grandmother might easily be as many as 20 years younger than I am.
We drove out to
two IDP (internally displaced persons) refugee camps – first an official UN camp and then an “unofficial” camp where refugees had moved when unhappy with the official site (although I couldn’t tell the difference) – and I was not allowed to leave the car because 1) we hadn’t received permission to visit, and 2) it was potentially dangerous for me to do so.
The conditions were appalling. These packed, squalid pieces of land have been home to thousands of people, in some cases for years on end. It was a living nightmare. The ground, like in other places in Goma, was solid volcanic rock. The dwellings, if you could even morally call
them that, were constructed of reeds over which thatch would be attached, with plastic tarps on top of that reading, “UN-HCR” or “USAID” on them. They were not tall enough in which to stand; yet entire families lived in each of them. Smack up against another hut. And then another. And then another. I wanted to get out and talk with people, and when I return to the Congo I will make sure I get permission in advance. I can’t imagine living in these conditions.
On our way back to town, we stopped at a place they called Green Lake because they wanted to show me that among the deprivation there is also some beauty.
And it was extraordinarily beautiful – a lovely green lake at the bottom of high cliff walls surrounding it, looking almost like a crater lake. 
There was a family there
and I asked if they were having a picnic. “No,” Zawadi explained. “These people come to wash their clothes.” They climb all the way down to the lake because this water is free. They’re not having a picnic. They’re resting.”
We take so much for granted in our lives.
Blindfolded Star
I officially opened the day’s training with one of my favorite exercises: The Blindfolded Star. (I usually do this outside in a large space, but the ground outside the training room was dangerously peppered with lava rocks and stones. I knew if I was blindfolded, I’d soon find myself scraping my hands and knees in the cinders so we did this exercise within the confines of the training room.)
I asked everyone to stand up and gather around to watch me take two large rope circles and lay them on the floor, overlapping them in two intersecting triangles, to form a six-pointed star. I asked if anyone thought they could do this and they all said they thought they could. I asked them how many of them would describe themselves as being collaborative.
The follow-up discussion centered on what was missing – a leader! – and on how difficult it had been to function without someone directing their efforts. When the second group tried it, several people stepped forward to assume leadership and their “star” was much more complete.
As I had done last year with the Rwandan group, I explained that there had been a study by one of our leading foundations in the United States (the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation) that identified a number of critical skills and capacities that collaborative leaders needed to have:
They are:
1. Assessing the environment for collaboration (understanding the context for change before you act)
2. Creating clarity -- visioning and mobilizing (defining shared values and engaging people in positive action)
3. Building trust and creating safety (creating safe places for developing shared purpose and action, especially important in this region of the world)
4. Sharing power and influence (developing the synergy of people, organizations and communities to accomplish common goals)
5. Developing people (mentoring and coaching; committing to bringing out the best in others and realizing people are your key assets)
6. Self-reflection (being aware of and understanding your values, attitudes and behaviors as they relate to your own leadership style and their impact on others.
Each of these elements, I explained, is key to the collaborative process. They are not mutually exclusive but support each other and provide a comprehensive picture of the essential skills of a collaborative leader.
So, I said, here’s the real question:
Do you want to establish your interfaith group as empire (dividing and conquering), or as community (coming together and sharing)? Again, the question came down to power over, or power with.
They all agreed that the history of their country had evolved through the former...and not very well, either…and that power with was their best course.
A Lunch Break
During lunch, I ventured out back again to say hello to the cooks (and the baby that had been sleeping on the back of one of the
The Training Continues
The day proceeded as before – pause café, more exercises, discussions,
Despite the heat, we covered coalition building, diversity issues, turfism and conflict. During lunch I had laid out a model of my violence pyramid model on the floor with tape and that lesson following lunch, I believe, had more impact on the group than any of them. The premise is that conflict and violence (or any social problem) is like an iceberg.
Further, when people are stuck in the “tip of the iceberg,” their only responses are one of the three “F’s” – fight, flight or freeze. I demonstrated this by asking for 4 volunteers to first step into the largest part of the pyramid, and then moved them up through the middle section to the tip. Naturally, they wanted to push the others aside to give themselves more room, or to leave the section altogether. We talked a lot about the ramifications of this model and how they could use it in their work, both as individuals and as a group. I think this is when the light really came on for this cohort.
Another Excursion After Work
Zawadi, Innocent and Camarade wanted to take me to see the refugee camps after work, but before we could get out the door we were met by a family from the camps who came to beg for money.
We drove out to
The conditions were appalling. These packed, squalid pieces of land have been home to thousands of people, in some cases for years on end. It was a living nightmare. The ground, like in other places in Goma, was solid volcanic rock. The dwellings, if you could even morally call
On our way back to town, we stopped at a place they called Green Lake because they wanted to show me that among the deprivation there is also some beauty.
There was a family there
We take so much for granted in our lives.
Another good post. I like to read of all of your experiences but I especially love to hear about the training exercises. Thank you Jan.
Posted by: Diann L'Hirondelle | June 23, 2009 at 08:24 AM